Running: Good for the Soul?

Learning to enjoy running has been a long and difficult process, that is no where near over.  After moving to Madrid, I quickly learned that regular skating would no longer be in my repertoire.  With every rink being a hefty commute away, and lacking time dedicated to figure skaters,  my first passion had to head to the back burner for a little while.  I've always found a certain peace while on the ice, especially during solo practice times, so I began to yearn for the same endorphin-rush inducing outlet.  Enter: running.

Now wait, pause, flashback...  What led me into a lower impact sport initially (yes, running... way less impact than skating), was a hip surgery I had almost a year ago now.  I had been abusing my body for years with too much high impact skating, and surgery became the last resort.  Recovery was a long journey, much more difficult than I could've ever imagined, but it opened my eyes to the idea of cross-training; the importance of treating our bodies well, and the benefits of doing so. During my recovery, I spent a lot of time strengthening my body with stretching, weights, bike riding, and eventually, running.  

Does this picture show off how happy I was at the time?

So, with a fixed up hip, an idea of how to treat my body, and a love for skating, I moved to Madrid, and found all three of these being compromised.  My hip killed from all of the walking and the lack of places to continue my physical therapy, I had no gym membership and limitless food & drink at my fingertips, and not a rink in sight that offered what I needed (time & proximity).  I knew that something had to give but I wasn't sure of what and where.

I had watched my father become a fantastic runner over the years, and had always been jealous of his dedication to it, especially because it could be done aaaanywhere.  So after a few weeks of dilly-dallying, I decided it was time to get started.  I did what any logical person would do, and signed up for a 10k that was 6 weeks away, without any training under my belt.  I quickly whipped myself into shape, and by the time I was a week out from race day, I found myself feeling somewhat prepared.  Each time I ran, I struggled through the first kilometer, and then I would kind of sink into a groove; into a place where my thoughts went silent and legs entered autopilot.  A place similar to what I would find on the ice.  Race day came, and I finished under my projected time, with a smile on my face.  I was pleasantly surprised with how good it felt to be part of something, like a race.  While still a solo sport, there's much more of a social component to running than skating has ever had.  I liked the quiet camaraderie and the unspoken connected as each kilometer ticked by.  I was ultimately shocked by how satisfying it all was.

Breaking a Guinness World Record in Madrid!

Madrid turned out to be the perfect place for running.  The winter climate settles around 45º at night, the city has a perfect pairing of hills and long stretches, and with headphones in and pounding feet, people don't tend to stop you for conversation on the street.  And even more perfectly, no matter how much it makes my legs burn and my chest pound, it makes my brain slow down.  At the end of the day, the hardest thing for me has always been to unwind, and rather than my favorite pastime of distracting myself, I'm finding much more comfort in becoming at peace with myself.  So, as a toootally sane person (haha..) I've somehow signed myself up for another 10k in 8 weeks and a 1/2 marathon in 12 weeks.  Let's go!

Things to Stop Doing in 2015

1. Creating hangovers that require a full day recovery (see above)
2. Dwelling (on situations, people, and... that text message I got at 3am, wtf did that mean?!)
3. Feeling guilty for doing things that make me happy
4. Self-medicating with Netflix and red wine
5. Thinking I'm invincible
6. Assuming I'll find a meaningful relationship on tinder
7. Starting books and not finishing them
8. Waiting to do my laundry until its an emergency
9. Lacking an understanding of how many (unfinished) to-do lists limits too many
10. Spending all day and night fantasizing about cheez-its (because they are my guilty pleasure and I won't have them again for sooo lonnnggggg)
11. Procrastinating on nearly everything, especially updating this blog

On Going "Home"

There is something special about returning to the roost after months away.  Getting to relive your old routines, seeing friendly faces, being able to sink back into your comfort zone… The list goes on.  I've experienced this feeling several times now, whether it was returning from college, my study abroad to Barcelona, or my more recent 2013 Euro-trip. This time has felt different though, because it is all so t e m p o r a r y.  Yeah, I got a long two weeks of friends, family, and various people from my past, but I've had to physically hold myself back from acclimating to my life in the US.  I've been straining myself to not become too comfortable, because I've known that I am going back to Madrid in a short matter of time, and for much longer this go around.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Madrid, but it doesn't have the same qualities of the home I've known for so many years.  I'm sure that given enough time, it would blossom into the homey place I've been craving, but for the time being, it still feels kinda foreign.

So here I am, 5 hours from leaving for the airport, and I feel uneasy.  Not because I'm unhappy about going back to Madrid or that I feel I have more to accomplish in NH, but because I don't know how I feel about abandoning this "homey" feeling. I know all the sayings, "life begins at the end of your comfort zone," yadda yadda yadda.  I get it.  If you're not willing to let yourself feel uneasy, you'll never grow, but being too uneasy can be stunting too.

A lot has changed since I returned home almost two weeks ago.  I celebrated Christmas (among other things…) with my family, I rang in a new year with old friends, I reconnected with my college sweetheart (under circumstances that I wish could have been better), and I gave endless hugs that probably lasted too long to people I have grown to love over the past several years.  This time tomorrow I'll be back in Madrid with my hodge-podge of a Spanish family planning what we will take on over the next 6 months.  I'll be breaking the news that my plan has changed and I will only be spending one year abroad, instead of the two (or infinity) I had previously thought about.  I'll get back into the classroom with the students that I've grown so fond of over the past few months. And hopefully, I'll be starting to become proficient in god damn Spanish. 

I know that once I get back to Spain I'll remember how much I missed it, and I'll settle into my groove of working and exploring.  I know that spending the next 6 months wandering through Europe will be freeing and will open my eyes to the beauties of the world, but I can't deny that I won't miss my little po-dunk town in good ol' New Hampshire.  Sure, New Hampshire isn't home to centuries old impressionist artists, the blue city blocks of Chefchaouen, or the natural springs of Budapest, but it has some of the best people I've even known, and for me, thats all I'll ever need.