First Dates.

1. College Boyfriend
First Date: Basement of a frat party, while drinking red wine out of a water bottle.  Spotted each other from across the room, instantly recognized one another from our shared dingy dorm building. Spent the "date" dancing shamelessly & making out, never realizing that what we were doing would turn into something meaningful. Ended the date spooning in his Twin XL dorm bed
Duration of Relationship: Better part of 3 1/2 years

2. The In-between-er
First Date: Nice restaurant in Epping, NH. Spent the date talking about favorite types of beer (the only conversation topic I can honestly handle), ended it making out in his 1989 volvo.
Duration of relationship: 1 month (if that?)

3. Mr. Nice Guy
First Date: Surf downtown Portsmouth.  Spent the date talking about our favorite travel destinations (the only other topic I can keep up while being genuinely interested). Barely touched my food because it was the first real date I had been on in a while, and I couldn't figure out how to eat & speak at the same time.  Ended the date with a kiss on the cheek.
Duration: 3-4 dates (without any moves being made…awkwaaaard)
Update: He's set to be married in the next few weeks..

4. The Handsome Coworker
First Date: Made me dinner in his tiny studio apartment.. An interesting and strong smelling"fish fry" (that would later leave me banned from my apartment until I bagged all of my clothes and showered multiple times). Snacked on "fish" and drank beers for hours. Other than the smell, great date.
Duration: Sadly, less than 3 months.

5. The Barely Legal Guy
First Date: Middle of winter house party. Fed me Fruit Loops and Loopy Vodka and listened to me drunk ramble about the ending of my handsome man relationship and who-knows-what-else. Fast forward a month or so and I've discovered that in addition to only being 19 (and being told he was 21), he had a bad habit for drinking too much.
Duration: 1-2 months. Maybe.

6. The Mature Asshole
First Date: Nice dinner at a restaurant in Kittery. Opted for haddock even after my past issues with first date fish. Had amazing convo and ended the night with a charged kiss.
Duration: On and off for almost a year. Each time ending for bogus reasons and often times over text.

7. The Airline Guru
First "date": A bar crawl through Malasaña, Madrid. Delicious gin&tonics in hand, we bonded over both getting scurvy or dysentary during The Oregon Trail game in elementary school.  Likely my male body double, due to disgusting sense of humor, wit, and appetite for puppies & beer.
Duration: Only a month or so due to moving back stateside, picking things back up each time I return. Hopefully more to tell in the future on this one.

8. The Patron
First Date: Met at a wine bar for drinks (after agreeing to said date while waiting on him at the bar). Realized he had a full on lisp immediately, but passed it off as "charm." Continued the night with more drinks elsewhere, dry convo, and a kiss before going home separately. Upon debriefing with friends later, I was told he has a "rapey vibe" and likely "kills small woodland creatures in his free time." Phrases like, "installs hidden cameras in bathrooms," were used too.  Guess I had lost my touch after being too out of practice.
Duration: 1 date. Duh.

9. The Talladega Nights Fan
First Date: I mean, the name should be enough... Loves Will Ferrell, thank goddddd. First date consisted of Ladies Night drinks at State St, followed by a tour of the old digs, and finished with some popcorn, weed, and the discovery of dog shit all over his shoes. Oddly enough, fairly successful first date, even though there was no waiter, fancy clothes, or fish.
Duration: I'll let ya know.