The New Stalker Forum: LinkedIn

So I have a bad habit of google searching guys that I'm interested in. I like to figure out their back story so I know what I'm up against. Crazy (but usually gorgeous) ex-girlfriend, found her, likely stalked her too to be honest. Impressive employment history, jealous of it. Live with your parents, not a secret anymore (also, jealous of it). Weird and uncomfortable habits (i.e. World of Warcraft addict, into sending FarmVille invites, super love Trump- or worse yet Ben Carson) are no longer private anymore.  One of the toughest parts of these internet escapades is pretending that I didn't take part in them.  I have to act surprised when a guy tells me that he spent a year working in a school in Colombia, or when he confesses that he only recently got out of a relationship (c'mon, you think I didn't know that already?!). I have to feign excitement when they tell me that, they too, are fans of traveling and drinking dark beers.
Enter adulthood: the land of careers and networking. And LinkedIn! God damn LinkedIn.  So quick and easy to see what a guy is about! Or any person for that matter! I search their name, view their profile, and BOOM, employment interests, history, and so much more are at my fingertips. It's like a mecca for seeing the adult side of someone. Combined with facebook, instagram, the news clip from their high school basketball team winning the championship, and that website they created for their college tech class, I've got the full picture.

Well, I recently discovered that some people get FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS WHEN YOU VIEW THEIR PROFILE. Oh my god. What the actual fuck! Not only does this challenge the possibility for future creeping, but it means that so many people must know by now what a complete creep I am! Like, I assume other people creep too, but I've gotten frighteningly good at it. Well, no, actually, clearly I haven't gotten good because I'm only just recently realizing this startling info. Uuuuugh.
I guess that the moral high-road take away from this would be to get to know people in person instead of taking tabs on the online, but instead I'm just gonna sneak this link in here: http://www.socialtalent.co/blog/how-to-stalk-people-on-linkedin-in-private. You're welcome.
Also, if any of you people who possibly stumble across this blog know of any other creeping outlets, please let me know.
And if any of my male interests stumble upon this page, I'm honestly sorry.  The internet has been my enemy for the past few years, including self-diagnosing, creeping, over analyzing, and researching instead of doing. I swear I'm not really that much of a creep, just trying to find your arrest logs before I become a subset name on one of them (aaaaaaand I also want to know the name of the band you joined in 9th grade).